Don't buy this app

Don't buy this app

By Back Bay Bytes LLC

  • Category: Games
  • Release Date: 2015-07-25
  • Current Version: 179.6.242848
  • Adult Rating: 12+
  • File Size: 97.21 MB
  • Developer: Back Bay Bytes LLC
  • Compatibility: Android, iOS 8.0
Score: 4.77311
4.77311
From 119 Ratings

Description

HELLO! I am going to tell you all you need to know about this app. There's a part of it that is a lot like the game "breakout" except that it has a picture of Ryan Gosling in it that you can hit with a flying baby!!! It has trivia where you can win tube socks or the continent of Europe, there is a part with a platypus and noses, and Reykjavik is featured, and also there's a donkey and Bob Ross and ancient Egyptian sculpture that will teach you a useful phrase in Dutch, and you can also read the third chapter of Beowulf but with more references to well-known screen star Abe Vigoda. Also you get a pug or a pony or a falcon or a banana when you tap pretty much anywhere! And a ninja will teach you some French! The whole app is freeeeeeeee!!!! So you don't HAVE to buy it! You can just get it!!! If someone tells you you have to buy it they are a big liar!! But if you want ponies on your main screen, you'll have to buy those. So unless you want ponies, you should probably save your money for a pair of tube socks, or maybe a candied yam? Although on the other hand, this app features the Magical Unicorn Bonus™ and is even better with ponies, and there aren't any tube socks or candied yams or regular yams or other apps that have the Magical Unicorn Bonus™ so if you like the app AND want ponies in it, it's kind of a hard decision!! You should probably ask your mom or a favorite pet fish or the Vice President or my mom or a taco. Or flip a coin! But be careful not to hit your eyeball!! With the coin! Actually coins are pretty dangerous so just get rid of your coins. -- WARNING: This app contains a hamburger singing "La Spagnola". If you can't handle that, you should stop reading this description immediately. ANOTHER WARNING: It's really quite mean to call people names. So please tell Albert you're sorry! -- YOU SHOULD KNOW that the app preview features the photograph "Mists and Magic" by Priyambada Nath. And now you do know that! And some music called "Borneo" by Keshko. In addition, and completely coincidentally, the screen shots include the photograph "Silky Sifaka" by Jeff Gibbs, and "Farmland of the A165" by J. Thomas. You should tell all your friends because you are a very thoughtful person!!!

Screenshots

Reviews

  • What in the…

    5
    By Lisa0475
    What,this app is goofy ahh save your money
  • me

    5
    By Pl@y3rŒne
    this is so me fr ong
  • This app, is correct.

    5
    By 746254968:646969
    Perfect in every way. Please waste more time and make another, thank you.
  • Wow

    5
    By ❤️❤️🖤HarleyQuinn🖤❤️❤️
    There’s so many layers to it that branch off into other things and I want there to be endless layers
  • Oh no

    5
    By cupecake king
    Pistachios
  • Now I don’t need to listen to BTS, crying…

    5
    By яѧċċȏȏṅ ʟȏṿєя
    Because I can listen to BTS while playing this game! And once I’m done writing this review, I’ll go pretend to date anime boys! Life is da best when you got da best game ever! 👻(da ghost is me mark) I used to cry because of Mr. Jimmie, he stole me life away in a flash of cruelty. I wasn’t prepared for what happened. I cried rivers of tears, even my blood would leak in those rivers. I wanted to be dead… But now, I just want to sleep with Choi Soobin. K-pop guys, and anime boys, the only thing I’ll ever love, besides this game! 👻😈🇺🇸💸☕️😵🕶😎🐰🥹🤬🚬🧨(LIGHT IT UP LIKE DYNAMITE) ❤️🔥🙀🙊🐺🕸🦇🐣🪺🐲🌷
  • 👍👁👄👁💅

    5
    By 65 year old Fun Run fan
    I am a lemur and I can use this app when I saw this on my tv I thought it would be like every other app but it’s the missing piece of my life
  • If only the evil Chinese sea monkeys from outer space knew..

    5
    By Dan8073
    The story I’m about to tell came about moments after downloading this app. This morning when I woke up I put a pinkish/orange bath towel down the back of my shirt and pretended it was my super hero cape. Even though it was pinkish/orange I pretended it was BLUE. I pretended it was blue cause that’s the color cape my super hero would wear. When I came up with this super hero I wanted to pick something really super original. Because he was wrastling gatorcrocs and wearing a blue cape (cause that's what I pretended it was) i thought 🤔💭gators are in water and my cape is blue like water 🤔 and I thought there aren't any water super heroes so i am calling him Aquatic-Man, or Aquaman! I haven't decided yet. So it makes sense why he wrastled 2 amphibians in earlier chapters. Snakes and alligators. But this time our fearful leader was attacking a different kind of problem. I pretended all the sugar in my house was cocaine (but don’t worry it wasn’t cocaine, it was just coffee creamer 🤫), and I pretended my shed was a middle school and I had to stop the cocaine (remember it’s just sugar I took from my house it wasn’t really cocaine, it was just coffee creamer 🤫) from affecting our children. So I ran into the school (which was really just a shed) and I pretended my tooth brush was a sword and I chopped all the bags of cocaine (remember I’m just pretending) up and threw them against the walls so that the kids couldn’t do it no more! After I scolded the 7 year olds, I threatened the lives of their parents if they ever went near the cocky doo doo powder (that’s what I told them the name of it was, that way they would think it’s gross) again. So with my powers of mass destruction, & my firm talking ability... and 3 years of intense psychological, hypnotic drug rehab the small 7 year olds were for the most part, eventually, kinda, maybe a little bit but not much, barely even noticeably almost better... but not really. Can you imagine what would have become had I not downloaded this app?
  • This game has personality saved my life 😍😍😍✨

    5
    By Robyn ✨✨✨
    Good greetings dear reader!! Onto my story *dramatic throat clear* so, I was sitting in my house peacefully as one does, talking to my crystals 🤩🤩🤩 (because I am a witch 🧙‍♀️ ✨✨✨✨🤩🤩🤩🤩👌👌👌) when suddenly my house spontaneously caught on water 😱😱😱😱😭😭😭😭😭😭😭!! It washed away my house and my crystals into the nearby tornado and I watched as every thing I worked on was destroyed 😞😞😔. I was forced to sleep in the streets of Ohio where I befriended every singular raccoon and it’s mother and fell asleep with them and their raccoon tribe 😤😤😤😤😤🤘🤘🤘🤘!! When I awoke I was somehow in Hogwarts with twenty three thousand times the amount of crystals I originally had 😊😊😊😊😊🤩🤩🤩✨ I instantly killed Voldemort and became a God like hero everyone bowed to!! I strongly recommend!!!
  • hiiIi pl_-eapaw notic

    5
    By XxjkobxX
    plis notise may big faan

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